HELP WITH CHILD SUPPORT!?
So first off let me explain.
I got pregnant with my daughter in August of 07, The father, who told me to get an abortion, was not around my whole pregnancy and wasn’t and didn’t want to be there for her birth, She was born in May of 08. So I did not put him on her birth certificate. Why should I right!? Anyway after she was born I gave him the chance to see her. He first saw her when she was 2wks, until she was 7wks. Then he stopped coming around. I gave him another chance, (i know, i forgive people too much) He saw her when she was 4 months, then stopped again, saw her once when she was 8 months and I then gave him another chance and invited him to her 1st birthday party, HE DIDNT COME! I then gave him one more chance to get involved in her life, Things were good for some odd weeks. I then became pregnant with his second child (stupid me, I KNOW). When i told him i was pregnant again, he left the picture, once again. That’s it, no more chances!! I haven’t seen him since and he hasn’t seen his child since. I filed for child support (for my daughter) in June of 09 after i found out i was pregnant again, and he was no where to be found. The child support case has yet to be established. Its just getting started actually. So we’ve already had a DNA test done. He is the father (like i didn’t know) Anyway, We went today to see the prosecutor to "negotiate" child support or whatever. The child support prosecutor wanted me to sign the "affidavit" (it was optional) which would put him on the birth certificate, I said no, because there was obviously a reason he was on the B.C already. I knew that if we didn’t negotiate things today, IT would go in front of a judge. The lady then tried to tell me that the judge will make me sign it to establish paternity (isn’t that why we had a DNA test done?? lol) So the stupid dad tried to make himself look good, by saying I keep him away from his daughter and blah blah blah, Which is not true obviously, and I have plenty of family to back me up on that. He is a total stranger to her. He is just acting like he wants to see her, so he doesn’t have to pay child support. Did i mention he has a 3yr son, with another girl? and did I mention his current Girlfriend is pregnant also? yea…Not only is he irresponsible, he does drugs and any time he ever saw my daughter, he would find fault in her.
So anyway the prosecutor then tried to tell me if he is willing to see his daughter than the judge is going to let him…OVER MY DEAD BODY!!! Where has he been for almost 2 years and my two pregnancies with his kids? Not around me that’s for sure. I’d rather not hire a lawyer either,
So before this child support thing goes any further, and I have to put my child’s life at risk, Can I drop my Child Support Case? Like I’ve said Child Support hasn’t been established and I ha vent received a dime from the dad yet…(which I dont even need, I support my children by myself, and am in college online) Anyone with a child support case that has dropped their case before…What did you have to do?
Honestly, guys. I’d rather have to daughter safe, and with me, rather than take money from this low-life. Do you think I can drop my case before it goes any further?
Thanks for your help, and sorry this might be confusing.
-Laura
Left 4 Dead.
Take the child support and tell the judge your concern. Chances are that if the dad didn’t see the children from start he is just blowing smoke and will only see the children a few times and disappear. If the father is really into drugs he will hang his self!
I’m glad your starting to grow up and are going to college to better yourself. But why two more with the idiot? Didn’t you learn the first time?
Unfortunrtly you can not stop him from seeing the child if the court orders it. But you need a lawyer big time, here! If enough proof is shown of his drug use and your concerns of the child spending unsupervised time with him is proven, then he might only get supervised visits. Frankly, getting child support is not the object here. he needs to own up to his responsabilty.
You need to show the judge you are willing to do what he orders, but you have concerns. has this guy ever been arrested for drugs? If so, have your lawyer find out exactely for what, if there are any warrents out on him for anything…things like that. Make sure the court understands your concernd for the child and not just be vindictive.
i had a letter sent to me in the mail along with a new copy of the birth certificate so that i could add teh fathers name on it and send it back…. well i never did and he is still paying child support and i havnt heard anything from the government about him being on it…
Tough call, but since you already have had the DNA test, and paternity has been established, whether you drop the Child Support Case or not, he has already been proven to be the father, and whether you like it or not (and trust me I am on your side) he does have the right to see your child. He will need a court order of course, but Child Support and Visitation have nothing to do with each other.
You need to look at the bigger picture here.You fucked up and had two babies with this man.You have nobody to blame but yourself.You want to call him a low life yet you slept with him again.
Whether you drop it or not, he can still press on to see his children.If I were you ,I would request that he take drug testing because you know of him using drugs in the past.
If you want to keep your kids safe then You NEED to get a Lawyer!! and NNNOWW! YOU have to look after the best interest of your kids. The irresponsible dad could get the right to see the kids or even have them for a weekend. Sorry drugs and small children do NOT mix!
and you have two children with this man.. and you say he does drugs and has other children with other women.. what does this say about you..? NOT trying to be evil, but you have take some blame for this also..
as for stopping the child support claim, that can be done.. but that does NOT mean he still can’t find a way to see the kids.. he can get a court order to have his name on the birth certificate and get visitation..
You can’t have it both ways.
It’s either:
1. Paternity is left unestablished, he’s not on the birth certificate, he has no rights nor reponsibility to pay child support.
2. Establish Paternity. Dad gets rights to see his children. Dad has responsibility to pay child support.
You can drop your case, but dad can push it, establish paternity over your dead body, and see his children. You have very little say in it now.
Child support has nothing to do with custody. If a judge says you must let him see them, and you refuse, guess who goes to jail? Not him. He’ll also receive custody when you go to jail too.
Never disobey a judge. You won’t score any points by doing so. If you won’t hire a lawyer, you’ll really have to do it. A lawyer can at least fight for you. You’ll be clueless in court without one.